Dealing With Jealousy


Jealousy in Book Blogging

Sometimes in the life of a book blogger, we forget that it’s not a competition between who has the most views or comments, or who gets the most sought after ARCs, or who meets the trendiest author.

Because of where I live, I’m basically never going to meet my favourite authors. I have to spend hundreds of dollars on airplane tickets and accommodation just to go to a book launch (*cough*Jay Kristoff *cough*). I’m never going to be able to attend BEA or ALA or even any events that the major Australian publishers host, because they’ll never come to my city.

I’ve come to terms with that. I made my choice of where to live and for the most part I don’t regret it. I tried big city living. It wasn’t for me.

But still, I do occasionally need to remind myself NOT to be jealous of other bloggers.

Especially when I’m seeing how much fun everyone’s having at BEA and BookCon, meeting people I want to meet and reading books I want to be reading.

I can honestly say I don’t care about my blog numbers.

BUT when I see someone who’s been blogging for as long as myself, or for less time than myself, (which is coming up to three years now), who have a ton more followers than me, I get jealous.

It’s like… what am I doing wrong?

And then I remind myself that I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING ‘WRONG’.

I am blogging EXACTLY the way I want to be blogging.

Now, in nearly my third year, I have working relationships with six major Australian publishers and get unsolicited ARCs from a few of them, which I count as a mark of success. I mostly get almost everything I ask to review, which is awesome. I mostly enjoy everything I review, which is even better. I have an entire bookcase of books screaming to be read when I run out of review books. I’ve made contact with my favourite authors and have had private conversations with them.

It shouldn’t bother me that some people have over a thousand Bloglovin followers or 10,000 RSS followers or hundreds upon hundreds of Goodreads friends…

There’s only one of me.

Aand I’ve run this blog entirely by myself this whole time.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a co-blogger, but then I realise I like doing it solo. It’s more work, but I can look proudly at my blog and say, it’s ALL MINE.

That’s all of MY hard work right there.

But when I switched to self-hosting and the WordPress community stopped following me so regularly (a couple a week)? I hurt a little bit. Then my Facebook followers shot up, and my Booklikes numbers have always been consistently on the rise. My Twitter followers have stagnated at around 250, but that’s OK, because I kind of hate Twitter and I’ll never be one of those bloggers who has a ton of online friends.

And really, I shouldn’t beat myself up.

My monthly stats have never shrunk, just not grown like I would like them to. But I can’t force people to follow me, can I? All I can do is be interesting and be something that someone wants to read on a regular basis.


About Nemo

A lover of kittens and all things sparkly, Nemo has a degree in English Literature and specialises in reviewing contemporary, paranormal, mystery/thriller, historical, sci-fi and fantasy Young Adult fiction. She is especially drawn to novels about princesses, strong female friendships, magical powers, and assassins.

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3 thoughts on “Dealing With Jealousy

  1. Laura

    Good on you for not worrying too much about this. Or at least for getting it out of your system in this post. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been blogging for nearly five years, and my blog has had many ups and downs. I had a major slump while I was in grad school, and also this year when I started my library job. Like you, I decided as long as I’m blogging the way I want about the things I want the numbers don’t really matter.

    1. Nemo

      Yes! I liked what you said: “As long as I’m blogging the way I want about the things I want the numbers don’t really matter.”

      That’s the part I need to focus on.

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